January  25-28 '01 Winter Tour w/ If One Should Fall

so this was our first actual "tour" thanks very much to iosf for letting us tag along.

thursday january 25: we packed up the night before (in a storm like always)...so we were all ready to leave right after school :) so i ended up leaving school early, jake didn't go, and chad and jason only had half days, so we waited for jerry (sound guy). we all met up and chilled, then we waited in the school parking lot in disguise, as to not get caught by a faculty member...then we got our home slice and headed off for the wired frog in D-TOWN. on the way you couldn't imagine our surprise, along with  the semis, when we stumbled across a large x-mas tree in the middle of the express way. wow..talk about an accident waiting to happen, so we continued on to get lost in detroit. if you've ever been to detroit you know how it sucks, so we were looking for gratiot, but found a sign ripped in two that started with a gr...?....? so we turned, and like the assholes we are, stopped at the burger king when we found out it was the wrong one. so then we corrected our mistake and got to the wired frog where kevin was waiting for us. good ole james (*
silence of fall is getting back together!) and his friend came to support us, and my sister, jasons cousin and liz also came (thank you). so uhh...some bands played, we found out there was no tolerance for fog machines or dancing . then we played..i suppose we were ok for not practicing with kevin since our last show, and who knows when the last time was before that. then another band played after us, and then our *great* friends iosf played. (go to  http://www.angelfire.com/rock/onefalls/tour.html for their (much better) review on tour) they were great, and it was also their cd release party, so they gave out a bunch of cds, and rocked the house like the bad mamma jammas they are. after the show we headed off through detroit to go to my sisters house in ann arbor, but not before we could almost hit a kids fisher price type plastic toy slide in the middle of the (rather busy) road.  just a bad time of the year for foreign objects in the road.  so then we got to her house, got pizza...and then the tazeing began.  boy...i never knew that zapping someone in the ass with a tazer could be so much fun.....damn.  this device meant for self-defense became the most used item on tour.  serving no purpose whatsoever for keeping any human safe.  all a tazer would do is turn a non-violent robbery, into homicide.  i know if i were to attack someone and they tazed me, i would just get more pissed.  so after that we slept with the assumption that no one would be awakened by a taze....

friday january 26th:   the pact held true...no one got atazened, but we found out that jason had a large brick type object clinched in his right hand, vowing to bring anyone who tazed him certain death.  so we headed off to kalamazoo to pick up kevin , about the time we got to k-zoo county it started getting snowy out.  so we got to kevins house, looked at porn for a bit, and then i tazed kevin (who had no clue you could be tazed and live through it) in the ass.  he was a little "stunned" and a little pissed.  but it was all in great fun.  because of course everyone was watching and waiting for me to do it...hehe. so we headed off to fazolis to eat before the long trip down south.  on the way there were a few car accidents/slide offs.  one appeared to be a typical car in the ditch, until you got close enough to see that the car had came from our lane, and when we got even closer it was apparent that the car had not only slid from our lane to the other, but it had rolled a few times in the process, no emergency vehicles were on the scene yet, but there were a couple cars stopped, there was no way to tell if the people were alright or not, so we just kept rollin like limp bizkit would have.  so we got to marion, indiana (down south) and everyone spoke with a southern drawl.  by this time the storm was in full effect and we came within inches of hitting some jack ass who didn't bother to move out of the way as we slid for like 10 feet at about 5 miles per hour towards him.  but luckily no one was harmed....and we didn't have to kick the guys ass.  so the show was in a wrestling arena place, it was an old movie theatre . the owner (who knew axel rose, liked redneck rock, liked to make money, and was a fat ass) turned one theatre into a wrestling arena, and another into a run down looking place to have shows...it looked to be a good fun night.  we headed off in the storm to a local gas station to snag some drinks and eats...the guy kept asking if we were gonna tip it over??  i don't know if he meant actually tip over his gas station, like those southern folk would do to a cow, or rob them....but we didn't do either, and he was happy to see us leave.  so back at the show some bands played, travis shocked some kid we didn't know in the "pit" and then it was our turn.  we rocked out, i got a lil crazy, a couple people liked us, but the night was owned by street punks.  and we all know that street punks whether it be in grand rapids, michigan, or marion, indiana hate EVERYTHING but fast, crusty shit (musically, and in their daily diet).  so as we all know they called jake a moron for saying rock and roll, and threw burger wrappers at if one should fall while they played.  so then mike and travis (if one should fall) offered anyone who wanted it a  fight outside, but no one took them up on it.  so the promoter/crusty with a southern drawl took us to some mystery hotel like 20 miles away (he was very secretive about it), i guess we was gonna "party" with 'em.  besides the 9 of us, he expected to split up one room between him, his friend and like six other crusties, who probably were the ones throwing burger wrappers at iosf.  so korey, trav and i went and got another room, and we slept where cool was born.  i believe it was grant county....we had lots of fun in that room.

saturday january 27th:   so we got up, listened to some religious programming and meat loaf, and headed out across indiana (where cool was born ), where there appeared to be one railroad track for every road, and one corn field for every person who inhibited the state.  so after that got boring we filled up cups of pe