January  25-28 '01 Winter Tour w/ If One Should Fall

so this was our first actual "tour" thanks very much to iosf for letting us tag along.

thursday january 25: we packed up the night before (in a storm like always)...so we were all ready to leave right after school :) so i ended up leaving school early, jake didn't go, and chad and jason only had half days, so we waited for jerry (sound guy). we all met up and chilled, then we waited in the school parking lot in disguise, as to not get caught by a faculty member...then we got our home slice and headed off for the wired frog in D-TOWN. on the way you couldn't imagine our surprise, along with  the semis, when we stumbled across a large x-mas tree in the middle of the express way. wow..talk about an accident waiting to happen, so we continued on to get lost in detroit. if you've ever been to detroit you know how it sucks, so we were looking for gratiot, but found a sign ripped in two that started with a gr...?....? so we turned, and like the assholes we are, stopped at the burger king when we found out it was the wrong one. so then we corrected our mistake and got to the wired frog where kevin was waiting for us. good ole james (*
silence of fall is getting back together!) and his friend came to support us, and my sister, jasons cousin and liz also came (thank you). so uhh...some bands played, we found out there was no tolerance for fog machines or dancing . then we played..i suppose we were ok for not practicing with kevin since our last show, and who knows when the last time was before that. then another band played after us, and then our *great* friends iosf played. (go to  http://www.angelfire.com/rock/onefalls/tour.html for their (much better) review on tour) they were great, and it was also their cd release party, so they gave out a bunch of cds, and rocked the house like the bad mamma jammas they are. after the show we headed off through detroit to go to my sisters house in ann arbor, but not before we could almost hit a kids fisher price type plastic toy slide in the middle of the (rather busy) road.  just a bad time of the year for foreign objects in the road.  so then we got to her house, got pizza...and then the tazeing began.  boy...i never knew that zapping someone in the ass with a tazer could be so much fun.....damn.  this device meant for self-defense became the most used item on tour.  serving no purpose whatsoever for keeping any human safe.  all a tazer would do is turn a non-violent robbery, into homicide.  i know if i were to attack someone and they tazed me, i would just get more pissed.  so after that we slept with the assumption that no one would be awakened by a taze....

friday january 26th:   the pact held true...no one got atazened, but we found out that jason had a large brick type object clinched in his right hand, vowing to bring anyone who tazed him certain death.  so we headed off to kalamazoo to pick up kevin , about the time we got to k-zoo county it started getting snowy out.  so we got to kevins house, looked at porn for a bit, and then i tazed kevin (who had no clue you could be tazed and live through it) in the ass.  he was a little "stunned" and a little pissed.  but it was all in great fun.  because of course everyone was watching and waiting for me to do it...hehe. so we headed off to fazolis to eat before the long trip down south.  on the way there were a few car accidents/slide offs.  one appeared to be a typical car in the ditch, until you got close enough to see that the car had came from our lane, and when we got even closer it was apparent that the car had not only slid from our lane to the other, but it had rolled a few times in the process, no emergency vehicles were on the scene yet, but there were a couple cars stopped, there was no way to tell if the people were alright or not, so we just kept rollin like limp bizkit would have.  so we got to marion, indiana (down south) and everyone spoke with a southern drawl.  by this time the storm was in full effect and we came within inches of hitting some jack ass who didn't bother to move out of the way as we slid for like 10 feet at about 5 miles per hour towards him.  but luckily no one was harmed....and we didn't have to kick the guys ass.  so the show was in a wrestling arena place, it was an old movie theatre . the owner (who knew axel rose, liked redneck rock, liked to make money, and was a fat ass) turned one theatre into a wrestling arena, and another into a run down looking place to have shows...it looked to be a good fun night.  we headed off in the storm to a local gas station to snag some drinks and eats...the guy kept asking if we were gonna tip it over??  i don't know if he meant actually tip over his gas station, like those southern folk would do to a cow, or rob them....but we didn't do either, and he was happy to see us leave.  so back at the show some bands played, travis shocked some kid we didn't know in the "pit" and then it was our turn.  we rocked out, i got a lil crazy, a couple people liked us, but the night was owned by street punks.  and we all know that street punks whether it be in grand rapids, michigan, or marion, indiana hate EVERYTHING but fast, crusty shit (musically, and in their daily diet).  so as we all know they called jake a moron for saying rock and roll, and threw burger wrappers at if one should fall while they played.  so then mike and travis (if one should fall) offered anyone who wanted it a  fight outside, but no one took them up on it.  so the promoter/crusty with a southern drawl took us to some mystery hotel like 20 miles away (he was very secretive about it), i guess we was gonna "party" with 'em.  besides the 9 of us, he expected to split up one room between him, his friend and like six other crusties, who probably were the ones throwing burger wrappers at iosf.  so korey, trav and i went and got another room, and we slept where cool was born.  i believe it was grant county....we had lots of fun in that room.

saturday january 27th:   so we got up, listened to some religious programming and meat loaf, and headed out across indiana (where cool was born ), where there appeared to be one railroad track for every road, and one corn field for every person who inhibited the state.  so after that got boring we filled up cups of pee and threw them at each other. one cup hitting out of three thrown, not to mention that jerry and jason pulled off a driver change while moveing down the expressway at speeds in excess of 70 mph.  so after lots of corn and flat land, we got to an actual city.  and then to scotts house.. it was a nice little place in the suburbs of chicago (glen ellyn)..this turned out to be the best show.  we got a circle of people to complete a current and send a jolt of electric across our hearts (tazer)..lots of people got into the whole tazer thing.  so for some reason iosf played before us and rocked, travis broke a string and mike got shocked (hence the socks)  :(   after that we played, and did okie doke...surprisingly some kids knew our one and only cover song (epicure by harvest) and they got all riled up and sang into this dildo that they had.  fun times...not to mention the tazenig that went on while we played.  i've never seen it happen, but i guess jason always drools A LOT when we play.  fun fun fun (til daddy takes the t-bird away).  when we got done scotts band played and were pretty good.  i liked them.  we were all hungry so we went to giordano's "famous stuffed pizza"  "chosen best"...it must have been the best fucking pizza ever had by man because it set us back 100 bones (translation = one hundred dollars). after we had the best pizza in the world, we went back and slept at scotts house, and had some sleeping bag wars...

sunday january 28th:  i awoke to the sound of travis' ass cheeks releasing a rank ass fart.  what a way to start a day... :) we packed up our stuff and headed to michigan.  we stopped and ate at big boy, and then said goodbye  :(  it was a sad time for us...but we made it through. on the way home we hit 1000 miles, on the tripometer and celebrated!!! ....and loved the lizard

January 21&22 '00 Clio, Michigan. Project 420

ok..this wasn't much of a tour

friday januray 21: we packed up all of our stuff in negative 100 degree weather...put it all and all four of us (kevin didn't go) into a little blazer. chad and i rode in the back very close together...with things piled around our feet, on our laps, and balanced on our heads. We stopped at about 20 different places on the way because we had a case of the "we all have to pee a lot." then we finally got there around 8 and hung out outside and at some store across the street. while we were in the bar parking lot two guys came out and oddly enough they were drunk..then got in their car and sat there (like we were) for about 20 min. then this old lady drove up and they tried to take off...but she was a quick old lady so she hopped out and stopped them, then she got in and started yelling at them. it was funny...finally some "kids" (i'm saying kids because it was the youngest people that i saw go there..the rest were like 50) pulled up and i figured it had to be matt so i got out and luckily it was him. So then we went into birch run and got a room at the super 8...came back and watched counterpart play. they were pretty good "aggressive metal" or so they like to be called, then we found out that left wasn't going to be there because matt dalton lost his voice. which is funny because jake semi-lost his voice thursday. he could talk but it was pretty scratchy. but anyways, we played second...i used a combination of my drumset, jesses' drumset and ricks drumset to make one pretty messed up drumset. everything was in the wrong place, the bass pedal was at a 90 degree angle and we were all sick in one way or another. so if you couldn't guess by all of that...we played really really bad. there were only like 20 people there to actually see us play bad, but we messed up almost every song...the weird thing is people still said we rocked...after we played project 420 went on and was amazing, they kept trying to tell us that they sucked but they were great. they played without one guitarist (like us) and with a d.j..it was pretty awesome. after the show we went back to the hotel and hung out with the guys from project 420 until about 6. they're some pretty funny guys.

saturday january 22: we had to be out of our room by 11, so we got up at 10 and dinked around with each other until 10:30 then finally got around and left about quarter after 11..since we didn't have to play until 11 (at night), it was going to be a long day. we started by going to arbys and eating, then sitting around for about 1 or 2 hours. we figured we should leave before we caused any trouble, so we went and sat in the car for another hour. then we remembered a cd place that matt told us about at the outlet mall..so we went to find that, and thats when the best part of the entire trip happened. we were sitting in a parking lot at the outlet mall watching a guy put up a bugle boy sign. so finally after sitting with the vehicle running and in drive for about 20 min. jake put it in park and went to open a coke, the pop was under a lot of pressure and exploded at the moment of being opened as a reaction jake kind of flinched a lot and slammed his foot on the gas and the motor went vrrooooom!!!!! this might not sound funny to you..but you have to imagine being in a vehicle for a day with a bunch of guys and being very tired, and then something like that happening. it was great, that memory would help us get through the rest of the trip without going crazy. so after laughing for about another 5 min. we reflected back on how funny it would be if it were still in park and hit another car..then we found the cd place. i got a tooth&nail comp. volume 1, and jake got volume 2. chad got rick springfield and jason got reba macntire (however you spell that). we then went to the vehicle and sat in the parking lot for another couple hours (most of our day was spent in parking lots). i called kevin and told him it probably wouldn't be worth it to come all the way across the state to play a show, and then we sat around some more. We got antsy so we decided to drive back to clio. We went to a k-mart and got yelled at a couple times, and then..if you couldn't already guess...we hung out in their parking lot for a couple hours. then we decided to go to pamida, we waited in their parking lot for about 45 min. watching people do weird things (one lady used a cart to bring out a bag of potato chips) before going in. when we finally went in we just did crazy wicked weird stuff like playing baseball, listening to weird music, making clamp bridges across aisles, and other stuff i can't remember. i bought some snack packs and ate one in the vehicle without a spoon..mmmm!!! after sitting in the parking lot for another hour we decided to go back to the 7 11 in birch run to get a slush. while sitting in the parking lot of 7 11 we saw matt. so we followed him to the old jamestown hall show, we got there in the middle of the peabodies set, then watched butchery a great death metal band, and then we saw multi-grain. they jumped a lot. Massive from project 420 broke some kids hand in the pit..it was funny. i don't know what other bands were there because we had to leave after multi-grain because we had our own show to play. we went back to birch run and ate at the most advanced mcdonalds i have ever seen. it was all weird green color, and it has an amazing ketchup dispenser thing. but then we went back to the spider trap and watched counterpart play again, they did better the second night, then we played second, i set up my set different, but this time the crash was about 2 miles away and the pedal was still messed up. by now jakes voice was pretty much completely gone, and he vowed to take it easy..but i think that was the hardest i've ever head jake "sing"..but maybe not. we played a little better but still managed to mess up a few songs, but there were a lot more people there..i broke a stick and gave it to some guy, good times. we had to leave like right after we played because it was a long drive. so we took off to my dads house. got there about 1:30 a.m. watched t.v. and messed around with stuff for a little while then went to bed.

sunday january 23: i woke up and chad and jason were playing with my little sisters barbies, so i just went back to bed and pretended like i didn't see them. then we all got up a little later, we were playing with my little brothers balloon (you know..don't let it hit the ground game) and jake popped it. so we made sure he knew that jake did it and took off for home....now jakes voice is completely shot and he can barely talk.


<g o b a c k>

jerrad '01